Thanks for reading Raising Good Humans on Substack! My first book, The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans is now available for purchase here.
If you’re traveling this week on Spring break, hopefully it’s a chance to have some quality family time together. Amidst the daily chaos, fighting, tantrums, or sleepless nights, it is EASY to forget about the importance of family meals. Eating together is about SO MUCH MORE than the food.
Research tells us that eating together is associated with healthier eating habits, better academic performance and higher self-esteem in children. According to the Family Dinner Project, “family meals are linked to lower rates of substance abuse, teen pregnancy, eating disorders and depression.” This is association and not causation but it is worth making an effort. Studies also show that conversations at dinner are more effective at boosting vocabulary skills for young children than reading!
Beyond this, the connection we get during a family meal is about shared interest, and an important opportunity to share tradition, culture and ritual. These are aspects of belonging - how connected your child feels to something larger than themselves. Feeling a greater sense of belonging is associated with higher self-esteem, self-confidence and improved mental health.
From the beginning, we can help to nourish and support our children’s development by pulling up a chair and eating together. Here are some easy ways to get started.
Pick any meal (it doesn’t need to be dinner). Research shows that the benefits are seen with 5 meals per week. This could be breakfast during the week, 3 meals a day on the weekends, or a few special meals spread throughout. Don’t get caught up on the location - even a shared meal in the car after practice, or a snack at the baseball game count. For our littlest kiddos, pull that highchair up to the table while you drink your coffee, or share some fruit at the end of a day.
Don’t overdo the menu. Although eating the same foods and making healthy choices IS important, it doesn’t need to be a fancy farm to table meal. Keep it simple, keep it something that your child is willing to eat (at least one of the offerings), and don’t add unnecessary pressure like cooking new recipes or serving 5 courses.
Create new rituals, like telling your highs and lows from the day. Share stories and take turns talking back and forth. If things are REALLY quiet, try one of the conversation starters from the Family Dinner Project, or get a set of family conversation cards online. Asking silly questions can break the tension and get everyone laughing.
Use family meals to share stories about yourself. Helping your children to get to know you through storytelling can be an important way to deepen your relationship as they grow. Share stories from your past, your history, your culture. Encourage your children to ask you questions they may have.
Share current events. If your children have BIG ideas about the world, family meals can be one safe place to discuss them. Encourage older children to come to the meal with a topic to discuss, and let them practice leading the conversation. Make the dinner (or breakfast) table a safe space for debate, lively discussion, and an open flow of ideas.
What you eat is also a place to spend some time thinking. As mentioned above, it does NOT need to be fancy, and there are lots of brands to support you in feeding your family. One I love is Cerebelly. Cerebelly is the first and only patented science-backed baby food that delivers whole food nutrition designed for optimal cognitive development. Founded by a practicing neurosurgeon, Ph.D. in developmental neurobiologist, and mom of three, Cerebelly is committed to making food for young children that contains Cerebelly’s patented 16 essential nutrients critical for healthy brain development. After years of development with a team of scientists, doctors, and nutritionists, Cerebelly was created — a first-of-its-kind food brand that satisfies parents, kids & growing brains alike. What you’re feeding your child isn’t just a tasty treat, it’s years of trailblazing well beyond industry norms to provide 16 key brain-supporting nutrients needed for early development. Meticulously sourced, organic vegetable-first formulas with no added sugar, that undergo rigorous testing for heavy metals and harmful toxins every step of the way.
Exclusively for my Substack subscribers, you can use the code RAISINGGOOD for 35% off at Cerebelly. It’s one decision off your plate, and something to feel good about.
A quick reminder to buy my first book, The Five Principles of Parenting, and write a review from wherever you order. Reviews really help to get the book noticed, and to spread the word. Please especially rate and review any books purchased on Amazon (it shockingly really, really matters!). Also, when you receive the book, snap a quick pic with it and post on social media. Share one thing you love about it and help me to get more copies into the hands of parents in your community. Tell a friend about the book, or about something you found helpful in the book. Parents look to each other for advice, and I’d love to be a part of the support you pass on to your loved ones.
We did high and lows of the day at the dinner table when I was in middle school and high school. It’s still a highlight and something that always surprised my friends who dined with us. Something I totally plan to implement in my family