Let’s be Mindful about Self-Care

Why mindfulness is for everyone

Thanks for reading Raising Good Humans on Substack. Please consider a paid subscription to support this work and get access to my invite only Ask Me Anything Parent Group at the end of every month. Paid subscribers will also get a preview of my new book, and the chance to participate in a book club in the Fall. Founding members on Substack also receive a private 1:1 consultation with me, where we can focus on any of the issues that matter most to you.

Photo by Fabian Møller on Unsplash

This week, I’m launching a new special podcast for premium subscribers on mindfulness. If you’ve ever thought that a mindfulness practice wasn’t possible in your busy and chaotic life, I’m going to lay out an easy way to integrate it into your day with the assumption that any extra time feels burdensome. 

Anyone can have a practice, and they can do it their way. Maybe it is a single breath, a thoughtful moment, a positive intention for the day. Even the busiest parent can cultivate a mindfulness practice - and your kids will thank you. Having a mindful caregiver helps build these skills in children, and approaching the day-to-day stresses of parenting from a centered place brings more balance.

If you’ve followed me for a while on IG, listened to the podcast or have been reading these articles lately, you’ll know that I have a real bee in my bonnet about the way we refer to “self care” in our society (and especially on social media). It is so often misused -  suggestions from manicures or shopping sprees (nothing wrong with any of them) as a break from our busy lives - or implied that it is the extras that we do when we can find a few spare moments. But real self-care is about making yourself whole so that you can be present where and when you want to be. Filling your tank so that you can be the parent, partner, friend and champion that you truly are. Self-care isn’t one bit selfish. From therapy to exercise, going back to school to practicing self compassion, self-care is mandatory for all of us. It is what we need, deserve, and sadly, still need to be convinced of.

That’s why I am so passionate about mindfulness and recently got my mindfulness teacher certification from the Berkeley Greater Good Science Center. After years of reading, studying, understanding and experiencing mindfulness practices, I came to a place where I know that they matter and that they aren’t some exotic “have to” that adds to burdensome “self care”. They can take so many different shapes. There is not some way to be “good” or “bad” at it, so even a perfectionist can get some respite. In case I haven’t convinced you, know that I wasn’t always this way. Ask my girls about the time we were all lying in bed trying to do a practice called a body scan and I pressed play on one of my meditation apps. They were giggling (of course), and I actually caught myself saying sternly, “Girls, stop laughing so we can MEDITATE.” Then, we all laughed. If you’re getting angry (or stressed, or panicked) about mindfulness, it’s time to rethink the purpose. 

There’s a way for each of us to get the benefits of mindfulness - like a reduction in anxiety and depression, better blood pressure and sleep, and even improved pain management - with whatever schedule we have. We just need to be open to it.

Want to talk more about true self-care and what we really need to be whole? Listen to this week’s episode with Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, psychiatrist and author of the book Real Self Care.