How to avoid feeling numb?
Starting with just one step
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In this week’s episode of the Raising Good Humans Podcast, Rabbi Sharon Brous and I discuss how we can find the capacity to care for each other, amidst the insurmountable losses we all experience everyday. It’s easy to see the endless scroll of horrible news, tragedy, anguish, and loss and feel numb. Numb to protect ourselves, numb from over exposure, numb from exhaustion, numb, numb, numb.
No matter what we feel, our sensible side tells us that going numb is not an option. Raising children requires that we show up, participate, and remain a part of the solution. To do that, Rabbi Sharon and I discuss the importance of starting with just one act of kindness.
The overwhelming response to death is life. The overwhelming response to loss is putting more love into the world. - Rabbi Sharon Brous
5 (my favorite number - preorder the book today with one week to go!) Ways to Fight Numbness in the Midst of Overwhelming Sadness
Find one person to reach out to.
When it feels like you can’t save everyone, start with someone you can help. Ask a friend how they are doing when they seem sad, reach out to someone experiencing loss, or lean into those who are suffering, instead of just burying our heads in the sand. Though sadness can feel contagious (or those who are suffering can seem almost dangerous), our humanity shines through when we can be there with them; acknowledge their grief and show up; when we can simply allow them to be where they are and show genuine interest in their well being.
Connect with your community/those you care about.
To make ourselves whole, we need connection with those around us. We need to find and build the ties that help us to feel tethered to something real, to a larger “we,” and to others that can grieve alongside us. This can be as small as your nuclear family, or as large as your neighborhood, your religious community, or your school.
Offer self-compassion and self-care.
True self-care is not about a mud mask and a manicure. True self-care and self-compassion means accepting the feelings you're having just as they are. Accepting your reactions without judgment, your thoughts without criticism, your humanity without disgust. Learning to truly love yourself takes time and practice, and can benefit not only your own wellness, but your ability to show up for those around you.
Put up your screen door.
Without guardrails, it is easy to be overrun with the emotions and experiences of the world around us. Whether it is not reading comments on social media, or setting time aside to step out of your caregiving roles and responsibilities, we all need healthy boundaries and limits. Rabbi Sharon describes this as a screen door we all need to install in our homes. The extra layer we need to protect ourselves while we are trying to be helpful to others.
Repeat.
Compassion fatigue wasn’t created in one day, and it won’t be solved in one either. When faced with the daunting task of learning to care for each other, we need to repeat these steps over and over again. Start small, care for ourselves along the way, and make it to the next person we can help. With time, practice, and care, we can find a way to be the humans we want to be in a world that challenges us to our very core.
We cannot disengage from our loved ones and from the world. We just can't. The world needs us to be human. - Rabbi Sharon Brous
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