Gun Safety on Playdates

Overcoming the awkwardness to keep kids safe

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Dear Dr. Pressman,

I am worried about gun violence and how to keep my children safe, but I struggle with the recommendations around asking other parents about weapons and safe storage in the home. It feels so awkward! I know that it is important to do, but how do I get out of my own way and do it?

Thank you for this question. We have to get more conscious about keeping guns from children and we’ve got to be honest with other parents. While the number of households with guns is declining, there are still an estimated 300 million guns in the United States. Normalize asking about guns and gun safety when you set up a playdate with another parent. Be open yourself so others don’t have to ask. You can say, “For peace of mind, I wanted to let you know that we don’t have any guns in the house and we’re very safety-conscious.” Alternatively, you can say, “I wanted to let you know that we do have several guns in the house and they are stored in such-and-such a way, and I wanted to make sure that you’re comfortable with that.” 

Asking about guns on playdates is one concrete way we can assure our children that the adults around them are thinking about their safety. The questions can be awkward, but we’ve got to ask. There are thousands of accidental gun deaths and injuries among children every year. In fact, gun-related injuries have become the number one cause of death among children in the United States.

Childhood and adolescent mental health are already at crisis levels, and the ongoing backdrop of violence is further chipping away at feelings of well-being, safety, and inner-efficacy we know are essential for healthy development. In addition to recent surges in anxiety and depression, a majority of teens now say they worry about school shootings. Young people are on high alert, the nearly-constant media coverage of the events amplifies fears, and the stress is reaching toxic levels. It’s understandable that kids’ mental health is on the decline, so when there’s anything we can do as adults to alleviate that stress, it’s our job to do it.

In the hopes of keeping all of our children safe, let’s overcome the awkwardness and ask. For more tips, check out this resource from besmartforkids.org