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When I moved into my first house and got an alarm system, I was shocked to discover that the little box I casually armed and disarmed each day was the perfect metaphor for my stress response.
Just like a passcode, entered to prevent alerting the police, fire department or other authorities, we all need a way to stop ourselves from being flooded by a stress response in a trying moment. Enter the passcode. In my case, it's a few intentional deep breaths (a great default passcode for most of us).
What is the stress response?
It’s your body responding to perceived threat. It’s important and we need it for survival, but sometimes, it sends false alarms. The autonomic nervous system that regulates your body's response has 2 parts - the sympathetic and parasympathetic branches. When your system is flooded, the sympathetic branch wins out, and as our body perceives danger, all systems fire to alert the authorities (I’m back to that alarm system). A surge of hormones, like adrenaline, cortisol and norepinephrine, causes a host of physical symptoms like a racing heart, dry mouth, dizziness, sweating, and elevated blood pressure. Even your gut health can be impacted as stress can slow digestion.
If there was a bear chasing us this would be incredibly helpful, but unfortunately your amygdala isn’t great at telling the difference between a predator on the horizon and a messy toddler spilling milk on your laptop. One will kill you, the other just stinks.
But your stress response isn’t easy to shut off. And the more often you experience this stress response, the more active it becomes (practice makes anything, even a negative habit, grow stronger). So getting in front of it takes time, focus and lots of repetition. Getting your body to return to a resting state means trying “passcode” techniques like these.
BREATHE. Your brain can’t be in fight, flight or freeze mode AND be taking deep breaths. It isn’t possible. As blood flows back to your brain while you breathe, the parasympathetic system is re-engaged and you will think more clearly. Even 1 breath can be a game changer in your stress response. It’s a physiological way of saying, “All’s quiet, no threat. In fact, the threat is so minimal that you have time to take a deep breath.”
EXERCISE. Exercise has been shown to play an important role in helping to regulate the autonomic nervous system. Find something physically active that you enjoy, and make that a regular part of your (busy) routine. The reward is worth it, as the benefits spill into your interactions with family, friends, children and co-workers.
COUNT. When you are flooded, try counting backwards from 10 to 1. This will give your body the “pause” it needs to reset. You can also count 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste. This quick grounding technique can offer your parasympathetic system a chance to come back on-line to help you act with intention (and your full capacity).
I hope this helps you to find your own “passcode,” and some new strategies to turn off the unnecessary alarms in your day.
Warmly,
Thanks for being a part of Raising Good Humans. We are in this together.