Do All Parents Need Therapy?
Understanding ourselves so we can parent others
Thanks for reading Raising Good Humans on Substack! My first book, The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans is now available for preorder here. All pre-orders will allow for access to exclusive LIVE events and will be eligible for exclusive bonus content this Fall. I am SO GRATEFUL for you and SO excited to get this book out into the world!
This week’s episode of Raising Good Humans Podcast, once again, brought up the importance of dealing with our own baggage (or burdens as Dr. Schwartz called them), in order to spare our children from inheriting them, or suffering negatively from their influence.
And while we all may intellectually understand that getting help to manage our own issues can help us to be present for our kids, research backs that idea up.
One compelling study demonstrates that mothers who received psychotherapy were able to be more attuned to their children, to be able to understand their individual temperament, and to work to find greater “goodness of fit” between their needs and those of their children. Their children therefore benefited directly from the care given to their mothers.
Other well known work, has focused on the impact of depression on infants, and a mother’s ability to respond. When mother’s get treatment for depression, improvement is found not only in their well-being, but in the social-emotional-cognitive development of the infant as well.
It is no surprise, then, that those of us who work in the healthcare setting often urge caregivers (the research is often on mothers, but we know this applies universally, it’s just that research tends to focus on the largest groups represented) to seek treatment not only for themselves, but on behalf of their child(ren).
While parents hesitate to help themselves, they are often compelled to help their children. We, so often, avoid true self-care (not the spa kind, love it as I do) in favor of our child’s needs, but when the two are connected, we may be more likely to follow through.
This week, in looking at my own response to anger during the podcast, it is once again clear that we need support in doing the toughest job out there - being a parent. Can we ensure that no one feels “less-than” or embarrassed about the burdens we all carry, or the demons we all have? Let's embrace adult mental health as being a part of all of our journeys, and especially part of our journey as parents. You don’t need a therapist to unpack your stuff, but you definitely will be serving yourself and your kids by making a commitment to check in with yourself and your burdens.
Take care of yourselves - if not for you, then for your children!
Warmly,
Thanks for being a part of Raising Good Humans. We are in this together.